Haha, funny. More like cringe-worthy. And then there were the very funny scenes that were hilarious, but not enough to make up for the rampant vile shocks throughout the rest of the movie. Cohen's "Bruno" rents out a swanky home in Hollywood, in which he plans to interview celebrities for a TV show. But there is no furniture.
Cohen enlists the house's illegal alien gardeners and pool boys to be the furniture. Soon Paula Abdul arrives and is droning on and on about her charity work. The irony and comedy of all of this simply doesn't occur to Abdul until the sushi hors d'oeuvres come out. Did we really need to see this guy's penis sticking out from the food? At this point Abdul finally acquires a brain cell and realizes that she should walk out. Word has spread through her publicist and the other celebs Cohen planned to interview won't be coming through.
Yes, Bruno has been " schwarz -listed. Cohen's "Bruno," desperately seeking to become famous decides to get his own charity. The absolute cluelessness of the celebrity charity consultants who are identical twins and dress alike even in "adulthood" is typical. They stress that "global warming" is really in right now shocker! The scenes involving the baby are hilarious and a great social commentary on the celebs who use Black infants as accessories. Bruno's audition interviews with starstruck Hollywood stage parents seeking to have their babies get jobs posing in photos with his baby comprise more great material for the Bin Ladens, Ahmadinejads, and Nasrallahs of the world.
There are echoes of Lynn Spears mom of Britney and Kathy Hilton parental pimp of Paris as there is nothing these desperate and valueless parents won't allow their kids to do. One woman tells Cohen that her baby weighs thirty pounds, but agrees to force the baby to lose 10 pounds in a week or two or get liposuction if that doesn't work. Parents agree to have their babies pose nailed from crosses and in Nazi SS uniforms shown putting a Jewish baby into an oven. Yes, some people--far too many parents--in America will do anything in their quest for fame and fortune for their kids and themselves.
On Eight Mile in Detroit there's a name for that: pimp. And those are the highlights-- and very many lowlights! If you've ever thought of the initials TMI, this is the onscreen version. While there were some very funny scenes, the movie is just so disgusting and filthy, you don't need to be a prude to recognize that this foreign comedian's exercise in self-flagellation is utter trash.
Gays are worried about how this movie mocks them. Trust me, it mocks straight, Red-State Americans far more. Not to mention, it's depraved. To say this movie is in bad taste is the understatement of the year. I also had the displeasure of seeing possibly the worst movie of the year right before I saw "Bruno. The main character is a geeky, hideous high school valedictorian, who declares his love for fellow grad Beth Cooper the very average Hayden Panettiere in his high school graduation valedictory speech.
It's downhill--or, in this case, down sand-grain--from there. The movie is not only low-class with horrid actors, but it's just slow, stupid, and a complete rip-off of ten dollars. Just dumb. Ironically, the father figure in this silver screen stupidity is Alan Ruck, who was a co-star in a great teen movie, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I guess times are tough for him since then, and he'll do anything for a paycheck. This was absolutely awful. Posted by Debbie at AM. I didn't like "Borat" read my review , and I'll be posting my review of " Bruno " tonight, just after Midnight per studio request.
But I have to say that this interview with Matt Lauer pandering to a fake persona is quite entertaining, because it shows what a tool this normally indignant and self-righteous lefty Lauer is. Ann Coulter and no-one else on the right--including comedians--would ever get such disgusting ass-kissing from a dude who is supposed to be a "respected journalist and interviewer. But, predictably, he doesn't. Visit msnbc. I'm scheduled to see both of these today and will be posting my reviews, early Friday Morning, just after Midnight or hear them at about a. I don't expect to like either, but I have an open mind.
And sometimes the movies surprise me. Doubt these will. We'll see. Stay tuned. BTW, check out the anti-military tack the second movie--which looks to be a real piece of trash--takes from the beginning of the trailer. Think this movie which reportedly includes Pannetiere nudity is promoting abstinence? The chick has a something boyfriend.
Think they're abstinent? Yes, she's as phony as the Palin girl in this respect. But, hey, cha-ching. You've already read my review of "Public Enemies ," which arrived in theaters, Wednesday. Here are the other new offerings I screened. But the storyline has little to do with that, though it does take place on the moon. The modern sets and cinematography of the moon are cool. And the plot is engaging. Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, an astronaut working on the moon in the future. We've learned how to harvest the moon for energy back on earth.
Rockwell is just two weeks shy of his three year contract to serve on the moon. He's about to return to Earth to be reunited with his wife and young daughter. But he feels like he's starting to see things, beginning to crack up. It's tough to spend three years in solitary existence on another planet, with a clever robot who makes smiley and other faces as your only friend and talking partner. Will he make it back or are things not exactly as they seem? If you like sci-fi and modern, futuristic movies, this is for you.
An interesting aside: Trudie Styler, Sting's wife, is one of the producers of this. It's good and the ending keeps you wondering. Not all the questions are answered. I like movies like that because they make you think. The title of this awful cinematic tripe refers to the ending sexual choices of the characters--a religious Christian southerner becomes half of a gay couple, after his wife becomes an artist living with two men in a menage a trois. Yup, Southern, middle-American Christian conservative red-staters becoming gays and sexually experimental in Manhattan, and they all live happily ever after--isn't that great!
That's not to mention the extremely snooty, one-dimensional, snobbish way this movie presents and looks down upon Southerners. From beginning to end, the message is that Southerners--actually, all middle Americans--are stupid and backward, that their values are inferior to Manhattan intellectuals. Larry David plays a much older snobby, genius scientist who falls for a young Southern girl runaway Evan Rachel Wood in Manhattan.
The girl's mother soon follows, after her husband leaves her for another woman. The mother becomes an artist whose work consists of naked photos and is living and sleeping with two men. Soon, her father Ed Begley, Jr. And, hey, "Whatever Works," right? That's the sad message of this highly unentertaining movie. And, um, it's not working for him. A lot of sad victims are left in their wake. So, to sum up this movie: New York intellectuals--good, very good; Southern middle American conservatives--bad, very bad and stupid hicks.
If you're planning on seeing " Public Enemies ," in theaters today, make sure you ingest a lot of caffeine. It's slow and boring and seemed like it went on forever. Last week, I told you about how "Public Enemies" star Johnny Depp said, "I'm a big fan" of John Dillinger, the cop-killing bank-robber he plays in the movie's lead role. He also said, "I actually hope people root for him, too. Although I originally looked forward to the movie, I was worried that "Public Enemies" would glorify Dillinger, the way Depp did in press interviews.
Fortunately, that did not come to pass. It shows Johnny Depp as violent and the crowd with which he ran as equally violent and murderous. It does, however, show FBI agents as women-beaters and far less humane toward women than law enforcement. FBI agents are shown beating Dillinger's girlfriend and denying bathroom privileges to her, causing her to urinate in the chair to which she's chained.
Cotillard took lessons to drop her French accent. She needs to sue the teacher for malpractice. Dillinger, on the other hand, is shown as loyal to a fault when it comes to women, even the hookers. Could have done without the indignant scene of Agent Purvis' secretary lecturing him, "Mr.
Purvis, they cannot treat a woman this way. Moreover, the movie shouldn't have been called, "Public Enemies," which fools you into thinking that the movie provides equal time to both Dillinger and FBI Agent Melvin Purvis played by Christian Bale , the lead agent on his case.
It doesn't. Clearly, this movie is about Dillinger, with Depp as the star and Bale as a co-star, much like the Heath Ledger's Joker was the real star of "The Dark Knight," and Bale's Batman was the co-star of that one. Insofar as that goes, the villain is elevated, the hero diminished. The movie is very slow-moving and boring. There's no excitement, little suspense. It's rare that you see such an action-packed film--complete with lots of bank robbery and shoot 'em up scenes--that is so unexciting and slow. But this movie was exactly that.
A silly love story, with cheesy lines and dialogue doesn't help, but it's quite obvious that was thrown in to give something to women who go to see it. I wasn't buying, including when Dillinger cries over his girl, although I can't say I didn't smile seeing America-hating Depp shed tears. The love story gives rise to one of the most gratuitous lines in the flick, in which Depp suggests he join his girlfriend in a tub:. My favorite scene in the movie is when a young J.
Edgar Hoover testifies before a Congressional committee, seeking more money for his interstate manhunt of Dillinger and other criminals. He's repeatedly asked by a Congressman to reveal the number of times he has personally ever made an actual arrest. He finally answers, "None," and repeatedly decleared, "But I am an administrator.
I wanted to shout out to the theater, "Where is this Congressman when we need him? Janet Napolitano, Robert Mueller, etc. None of 'em have ever made a single arrest in their lives. The male stars in this movie are nice to look at, as are their suave clothes--sharp, dapper suits from the days when men's sartorial splendor was all that. And the sets and cars from the 's are also beautiful. If only the script and the storyline had such exquisite attention paid to them.
In fact, we barely see much of some of the other crooks with whom Dillinger hung. Pretty Boy Floyd Channing Tatum is killed off in the first five minutes, and we don't know why. The movie is basically this: Dillinger in prison, Dillinger broken out of prison, Dillinger lives openly among the public who support and protect him, Dillinger falls in love, Dillinger robs banks, Dillinger in with the mob, Dillinger out with the mob, Dillinger tracked down, set up, and shot, the end. I like a good gangster movie or crime thriller.
I'm glad it's not the pan-criminal revisionist propaganda I feared. Here's what I did see:.
And when you are done writing more, well write more again, and then write some more, and after that? Evergreen Hills. And he didn't "date" euphemism backwoods nutjob Britney Spears. And there are no skeletons in their designer closet, none that I can find. Katie is broke.
It is extremely moving, too. All of this is done because Soraya's husband wants to divorce her without paying her any support money or alimony , so he can marry a young girl with whom he's been apparently having an affair. This movie is just the way I like it. It pulls no punches. It's very clear about the role Islam plays in brutality and fabricated "justice. Islamic countries. It's violence and blood that is necessary to see, but not for the faint of heart and definitely NOT for kids.
Shohreh Agdashloo--best known for playing the wife in a Turkish Muslim terrorist couple on the show "24"--is the star of this vehicle. She plays Soraya's courageous aunt, who talks to a reporter Jim Caviezel and gets the story out. Caviezel's reporter is a French Iranian whose car breaks down, and he is stranded in the small town until it is fixed. He tape records Agdashloo's retelling of what happened just the day before. The stoning incident also shows how wantonly life is taken away under sharia Islamic law and how cavalierly the killing--the murder--is treated.
After Soraya has her show trial which she wasn't allowed nor was she allowed to testify , Soraya's stoning happens with a fervor. The townfolk celebrate it and laugh before, during, and after. During the stoning, a clown troop--complete with Iranian clown midget--come to entertain the town kids. When they learn there's a stoning going on, they eagerly entertain. That night, the whole town engages in feast and drink in celebration.
Very sickening, and, sadly, extremely true. If you love freedom as I do and despise jihad, this movie is a must see. I absolutely loved it. And it has no qualms about exposing Islam for what it is--a violent cult. One other thing: Some western greeniac idiots who support the faux-democratic uprising in Iran are trying to use this movie as a vehicle for their unworthy cause. They are fools if they think that the Muslim green activists on the streets of Iran are any less for these Islamic stonings of women than Ahmadinejad and his supporters are.
Mousavi supported there-establishment of Islamic rule and, thus, the stonings in , and he supports it now. Wake the heck up. It features Michelle Pfeiffer as a wealthy, aging prostitute in s France, who falls in love with a much younger boy, "Cheri" British actor, Rupert Friend , and lives with him from his late teens through his mids. I don't much care for movies in which women try to act like men in pining for younger lovers , and the "men" are so gay-looking and effeminate that it simply isn't believable.
Rupert Friend looks so much like a girl it's off-putting. A scene in which he dons a pearl necklace made me wanna hurl. But this movie isn't for me or most of this site's audience. It's for middle-aged and post-middle-aged women who like to look at nice clothes the costumes were incredible , nice scenery, and beautiful flowers. For the rest of us, it's an annoying chick flick. As chick flicks go, it could have been far worse. But it's mostly skipworthy. I mean, after all, it's about the lives of prostitutes and one who becomes heartbroken. So what? Not me.
The one good thing about the movie: it shows that a life of prostitution may bring a ton of easy money, but it also brings a more heavy truckload of tragedy and heartbreak. Brady, disturbed that one of his sons would idolize a criminal and murderer, forces Bobby to learn about the real evil embodied by his romanticized hero from the old West. It finally hits home when Mike Brady introduces son Bobby to a man whose father was murdered in cold blood by his "idol. If only we could go back 36 years and force actor Johnny Depp to have the fictional Mike Brady as his father. This is what I mean when I talk about the importance of good fathers in kids' lives in America.
Say what you want about "The Brady Bunch. Depp plays John Dillinger, the s serial bank robber in " Public Enemies ," the movie which debuts in theaters, next Wednesday. It's one of the big 4th of July holiday releases. Sadly, Depp--who has a history of making anti-American statements--is just as clueless on the cold-blooded creep he plays. And, with it, he and his castmates play the same old left-wing class warfare politics, which somehow makes bank robbery "cool. Depp chatted about the folklore-like merits of Dillinger at the Los Angeles premiere of Public Enemies.
People like John Dillinger came back and were anti the establishment in their own special way," Depp said. And Dillinger was somebody taking it back. It's like Dillinger was the right man at the right time and he seemed almost to have a cause. It's a question whether that was really the case, but you can see how easily the people felt about that and gravitated toward that. Here's a reality check: John Dillinger was not a nice guy.
He was a murderer. He killed a police officer, Patrick O'Malley. And he was a cop killer in more ways than one. When fellow degenerate friends of his sprung him from jail, a sheriff, Jess Sarber, was killed. And death and maiming, including of female bystanders, followed him everywhere he went. This is America's new folk hero?
It reminds me of the sickening worship of Charles Manson that continues to simmer within America's younger demographic. When I first wrote about how I was looking forward to this movie , readers contacted me, hoping it wasn't going to romanticize Dillinger, and it looks like their fears have been realized, based on what we've seen so far. And if Dillinger is the hero these guys make him out to be, looks like this movie will be equally as inaccurate.
I'll be seeing the movie, Monday, and posting my review at just after Midnight on Wednesday Morning. As longtime readers know, my biggest problem with the movies that Hollywood puts out is not that they're mostly utter garbage which they are. It's that studios pour gazillions into marketing crass, crude, sex-laden, F- and S-bomb encrusted movies to young kids. I mean, after all, it's Transformers--a set of mechanical toys from the '80s--upon which the movie is based. But Hollywood execs don't care that too many Americans let them raise their kids.
They don't take the responsibility seriously. They only take their bank accounts seriously. And that's why we have crap like "Transformers 2. And that's why, even though it stinks, this movie will make tons of money and top the box office. And yes, it's filled with hot women, like Megan Fox, and an ivy league seductress who is actually a decepticon. But is that really for seven year olds? Want your kid staring at butt shots of a something vixen leaning over a motorcycle in barely there jean shorts?
Fine for older teens and somethings, but your young kid? Do you want your eight year old son oogling at a sexy, scantilly clad decepticon trying to have sex with the movie's dull hero Shia Lebeouf and then having dangerous metal tentacles coming out of her rear end and sex organs? How 'bout the various scenes of dogs having sex or rubbing up against Megan Fox's leg? Want your kids repeating crude jokes about "sucking sacs" and other references to oral sex?
Repeating f-, s-, and a-hole words, which make up a good deal of the movie dialogue? How 'bout the p-word? That's in there, too. It's hard to tell that there's actually one in this movie. And that's fine. We know people don't go to "Transformer" movies for the storyline. But, remember, I liked the first "Transformers" movie read my review , though that also had a lot of four-letter words and crude references to masturbation, etc.
The first movie did have a story--a cute one and a great good-triumphs-over-evil message. In this one, well, not so much. Ruins of the ancient city of Petra now in Jordan are shown to be just yards from the Egyptian Pyramids. Yup, this movie won't teach your kid geography either. The movie is so stupid, it's like a three-year-old wrote it. And this movie is in tight contention with those two to be the summer's dumbest, worst flick.
I know I've lectured you before about the morons who call themselves "parents" who take their kids to movies like "Friday the 13th" and "The Watchmen" read my review. But this movie isn't much of an improvement. Yes, it doesn't have the "R" rating and isn't graphically violent and full of blood and wanton killing like those.
But that doesn't mean it's good for your kids' minds. And it's entirely predictable and formulaic. Plus, I don't go for the "cougar" dynamic here year-old Sandra Bullock in great shape through a cheesecloth lense with much younger Ryan Reynolds. If we wanted women to act like men, they'd be men. So, she demands that her assistant, Ryan Reynolds, to marry her and commit marriage fraud. He agrees after exacting a promotion from her.
To make it look real, he takes her to Alaska for his grandmother's Betty White--the Jump the Shark Ted McGinley of movies, meaning if she's in it, it's a sign: it sucks 90th birthday. While I laughed more than a few times, most of the jokes in this were stupid. Still, this is more trumped up melodrama than comedy. There are lots of--way too much--faux-tears and silly, unctious fights between family members.
When this film was shot, there were lots of scenes filmed with Immigration and Customs Enforcement ICE uniformed police and agents, but all of that has ended up on the cutting room floor. ICE was snubbed in this film, and the agents should be happy. BTW, if only real life U. Citizenship and Immigration Services adjudicators were as determined to weed out marriage fraud as the one in this movie. Sadly, it's not even close in the real world. And ICE rarely investigates or prosecutes the ones who are determined to be marriage fraud perpetrators.
Wanna see a film about real-life marriage fraud? Start filming in Dearbornistan. As chick flicks go, this could have been far worse. But it also could have been far better. Great for the Oprah crowd, but for the rest of us. But it grew better as it progressed. A de-glammed Jennifer Aniston plays a traveling saleswoman, whose company sells mass-produced art to motels and offices. While staying at a motel out West, the son of the motel owners Steven Zahn develops a crush on her. But she sleeps with him, and then he starts stalking her.
Like I said, it's creepy. Eventually, though, Aniston--tied up with her ex-punk rocker, organic yogurt mogul boyfriend--falls in love with Zahn, an aimless motel employee with no future. But life is complicated and circumstances--economic circumstances and plans for the future--get in the way. Or do they? The most annoying part of this movie is the lefty crap that's thrown in. Aniston's character is "one of those," making a fuss with the small-town motel owners that they don't have a recycling center, etc.
Steve Zahn is the star of this vehicle, not Aniston. And it's a chick flick you guys will enjoy. It's well done, if a little long and drawn out even at only just over 1. This movie was so bad, I walked out after a half-hour. I simply couldn't take the stupidity and inanity anymore. It just wasn't funny. And it was like a three year old made it. Extremely stupid.
Jack Black and Michael Cera play cave men at the beginning of man. They are kicked out of their village because Jack Black accidentally sets their village on fire. Sound exciting to you? Me neither. I should have walked out well before Black eats dung and tells us it tastes like the producer of it ate apples.
This is funny? Skip at all cost. Save yours and two valuable hours of life not worth wasting on this exercise in moronism. As I've recounted on this site previously, I once sat next to Michael Moore at a showing of one of his movies, " The Big One ," which rails against America's corporations and their CEOS kinda like his next movie will do.
I reminded him that sports teams are the corporations who most soak taxpayers for their stadiums, etc. Plus, their clothes, which he was wearing, are not made in America, but overseas by the people he complained are paid less than a dollar a day. Moore's response was that he's a hypocrite and not consistent, and he seemed proud of that. So, it's no surprise that it's more of the same, since he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in corporate stock holdings and he's at it again, with yet another flick--this time, attacking Wall Street.
Over the weekend, he unveiled this extremely obnoxious "trailer" for his next movie to movie audiences in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. The untitled movie comes out in October. Oh, yeah, he didn't avoid Wall Street. But, yet, they're baaad, very bad. The " Team America: World Police " guys had exactly the right idea with this self-righteous hypocrite.
A couple of new movie releases that aren't bad, at this week's box office, and one awful New Age dud. This incarnation stars Denzel Washington and John Travolta. I watched the original, last night, and while I liked that, I liked this one much better. It's fun, fast-paced, exciting, and heart-pounding. Washington plays the schlubby subway traffic controller who negotiates with him.
Travolta gives New York City officials an hour to get him the money before he starts killing one hostage a minute. Travolta claims he's not a terrorist, but in fact he is. And the Mayor insists on negotiating with him against his advisors' unanimous advice. When his "negotiations" with a madman clearly don't work, his advisors tell him, "you entered his world, now exit it. Yes, much of the movie is predictable, but it's still entertaining and fun to watch. If I had any reservations with it, it's the obvious things.
In the meantime, hostages are killed because of the delay. Why didn't they just take a helicopter and land on top of a nearby skyscraper? Plus the villain is from Wall Street more politics of envy class warfare brought to you by the fabulously wealthy in Hollywood. I could have also done without the digs at Rudy Giuliani though the original version of this movie was far harsher on then-New York Mayor Abe Beame. The New York Mayor is played by James Gandolfini, who is styled as a fat version of Giuliani with the bankroll of current Mayor Michael Bloomberg , cheats on his wife, and is a jerk.
And he says he doesn't want to be like Rudy Giuliani in making a speech to calm New York. One other thing: as an attorney, I don't think a man's admission, under duress, that he committed a felony--a statement made under the threat of killing people--would necessarily be admissible in court, and if it was, that it would be considered any sort of valid admission. And it's not bad. Like most kids' movies, this is predictable and slightly corny.
But, unlike most kids' movies, it has a storyline that adults can enjoy, and I did. It's also mildly funny though some of Murphy's standard humor from the '80s seems kind of dated and stale now. I laughed quite a few times. And it's very cute. Murphy plays a investment advisor in a brokerage firm, who is in the process of divorcing his wife. His cute actually, a little too cute seven-year-old daughter has a security blanket of which she refuses to let go. She talks to three imaginary princesses and a queen via the blanket.
Murphy is competing with a sleazy, oily colleague--who says he's an American Indian--for advancement at the firm. Soon, Murphy learns that his daughters' imaginary friends give him brilliant investment advice and predict which companies and stocks will succeed and which will fail. The thing I really liked about this movie is that, unlike many Hollywood offerings, it ultimately shows a competent, loving father spending time with his daughter. Because of that, he finally gets his priorities in line, if at first, he didn't appreciate his father role. You know a movie is going to be bad when it starts out with two people in bed during oral sex discussing how one of them "tastes.
Rudolph is pregnant and, since they have no friends and not much family, they go on a road trip to choose a place to live and raise their kid. Most of this involves people even more New Age and bizarre than they are and other crazy people in midlife crises. The only mildly amusing part of this movie was a scene mocking another New Age couple including homely America-hater Maggie Gyllenhaal , who were so outrageously off the deep end, even pretentious lefties in Hollywood could make fun of them.
Sitting through this was extremely painful. I imagine they force you to watch this over and over in hell. And I think it's great, um, "programming" for the detainees at Gitmo before the camp gets closed. Watching this truly is torture. There's not much good at the box office, this weekend. In fact, I recommend you stay home and rent something. Absolute complete garbage. What was supposed to be a funny guy bachelor party movie, got about three laughs from me.
And that's being generous. You don't have to be a prude to know that this movie is trash. Perhaps the multiple shots--in the closing credits--of one of the characters getting oral sex you can see the guy's penis and the woman mouth on it--why didn't this get an X or NC rating? The "plot": A guy is getting married, and he, his weird future brother-in-law, and two friends take a road trip to Vegas. They start out the night drinking shots on the roof of Caesar's Palace, where they've rented a gaudy villa, and wake up the next morning with the place a complete mess.
They can't remember what happened, and the groom is missing. The rest of this waste-of-time flick shows them trying to piece it all together and find the groom. I like a good, funny guys road trip or bachelor party movie. This is just pointless. A weird guys' butt in a jock strap in close-up. Haha funny. And old man's droopy butt in a hospital scene. Frickin' hilarious. You always win. We have rigged elections. There's a Megachurch anybody can join. Donations flow in. For people who like golf there is a championship golf course designed by Robert Trent Jones. There is never any wait.
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It's intended for those who love steamy TG stories involving men changing into women. My older housemate Mr.
Matthews was desperate to use the toilet but I was showering myself in his only bathroom. He bangs on the door for me to let me in and I oblige, escaping back to the shower and pulling the curtain across to hide my naked body from him.
I hear him finish and I peer around the curtain, spotting his big length hanging from his trousers. Something comes over me and suddenly years of sexual desires bubble over and I'm leaping from the bath for him, taking Mr. Matthews by surprise. Before long he's stiff as a board and soon he's inside me, pulsing out his love in my very first hot, age gap internal.
Your Cheating Hot Wife. Read this very taboo tale Your Cheating Hot Wife! Not for the faint of heart.
The Brothers Karamazov. Through the gripping events of their story, Dostoevsky portrays the whole of Russian life, is social and spiritual striving, in what was both the golden age and a tragic turning point in Russian culture.
Building Bonds Kiss of Leather Book 1. His best friend sets up a meeting with one of the Doms and partners at Kiss of Leather, a gay BDSM club being built as a premier destination for those who want the best of the best. Master Gavin not only wants the best—he demands it. Misunderstandings and accusations almost destroy everything between them before they have a real chance to begin.
Commander Luke Price is voiceless in a country that dominates android technology and denies human rights. The harsh President Rylor regime took Luke's best friend, his family, and looks set to take his sanity. When Elliot shares confidential information about a new android, HAI, he also reveals the atrocities behind its creation.
Luke must help Elliot and Mitchell cease the android's production before innocent people die. But what if the truth of HAI is more horrific than Luke imagined? Can he conquer his own fears to save Elliot, to save himself, and assist Mitchell to overthrow a tyrant dictator? Strange Hill: The School Magazine.
A disgusted parent complains to the headmaster of Strange Hill about the school magazine. Contains adult themes rude drawings and bad language. Adult Comic Strip. Spoilt For Choice. When Elle's love life begins to grow stale with her partner she finds that she can't fight off her attraction to John, the man she's just met on the train into work.
After bumping into him once again she decides to make her move, acting on the fantasies her partner told her about once before. Stepping out of her comfort zone and hoping that Pete also wants the same thing, the couple end up inviting John back to their place. One thing leads to another and Elle finds herself caught between the two men, watching as a fantasy she never knew she had unfolds.
Michelle would be the first to admit her occupation was a bit weird. But there were times when it was necessary to have a wet nurse in a hospital and she performed her job with clinical precision and care. But when MIchelle get's sick it's up to the young man of the house to help her with her aching problems. But will she discover a whole new life? This book is just bubbling with milky sin, it was discovered in an infernal coconut and as such I can't use the words I'd like to describe it so use the look inside feature to see just how naughty this story gets!
Are You Coming? From first experiences to advanced BDSM play, each story explores a different facet of the many types of consensual kink. This collection features strong women protagonists with many scenes, including pet play, bondage, MFM and more. Full nudity uncensored adult pictures of a sexy boobs women 60 pics : Sex photo book showing big tits, booty and pussy!
Get ready to spread this collection wide open An erotic bundle featuring 50 of the hottest sex stories ever written The year is , and nineteen-year-old Will Sharp has arrived fresh from the country to Portsmouth, seeking a life of adventure on the high seas. Will can't believe his luck when a chance encounter introduces him to Jon Dark. But to secure the job, Will must impress the stern and overbearing Captain Storm. Will is prepared to do anything for a life of freedom, but just how far will he be asked to go?
This book features steamy, first-time, gay, teen, bareback erotic encounters and features romantic elements. It is intended for mature audiences only. It is a short story of words and is the first part of a series. The Ballerina. With her own dancing career unfortunately behind her, Mish has taken the role of assistant director at a prestigious ballet company in New York City. Will love and art prevail over extortion and jealousy? Can this romance in the theatre survive the politics of ballet?
It is a realistic and well-written story of love, lust, romance, risk, and redemption, and an account of a year old woman falling for a dancer 10 years her junior. This novella contains a bonus first time lesbian romance story. Trained and Whipped: Lesbian Erotica Collection.
Warning: Filthy, dirty, sexy lesbian story inside. Cain said, motioning towards the small vibrator. She had never done anything like this before… When Lori signs a contract to work for the mysterious billionaire Ms. But she never thought her new boss would be hiding such dark secrets Jump into the girl on girl action fast with this story of lesbian submission and domination. This dark and sexy story is guaranteed to leave you panting and locking your door. Your search stops here. Get reading download now. Savage Empire.
The war has produced a soldier of exceptional abilities. His name is Savage and he is a hero in the Green Army. But twelve years of combat is enough for any warrior and so he quits the battlefield, planning to defect to Paris, an enemy stronghold. Savage has no desire to join the opposing Gray Army, he intends to ride out the war in the French city's underground, perhaps as a pimp in the lucrative sex trade. On the road to Paris, he is ambushed and left for dead but is then found and nursed by five beautiful female refugees.
War time France is a harsh place, however, and the women are captured by slavers and sold to the queen of Paris' criminal underworld. These love slaves are forced to pleasure the soldiers of the occupying Gray Army, including the sadistic, depraved officers of the High Command. When Savage finally makes his way to Paris, he faces a dilemma: should he rescue the women who saved his life or wrest control of the evil empire from its queen? In the end, the decision may not be his as the war returns to the City of Lights threatening its destruction. And as the Green Army closes in on Paris, a slave girl revolts against her mistress, an act which may destroy the queen's underground empire as well as Savage's plan to rule it.
The Wild Orchid. The wild Orchid is a chinese girl Chi-Shan Alex at terms with his new lifestyle settles down but is unable to curb his insatable appetite for new conquests. He ends up with 35 females which seems to suffice his intense needs. There is a lot of raw sex in this novel so if your a bit easily shocked dont bother with it, leave it to the reader who likes erotica and extensive sexual content thats my advice alright. Women, business, pleasure: When I want it, I get it.
Down Low In The End Zone #1 & #2 Complete - M/M Gay Straight Seduction Menage XXX Erotica - Kindle edition by Ally Love, Marie Shore. Download it once. Hubby On The Down Low #2 M/M Seduction Erotica bondage romance Down Low In The End Zone #2 M/M Gay Straight Seduction Menage XXX Hubby On The Down Low 1&2 Complete M/M Gay Straight Seduction Menage XXX Erotica.
Including her. I will break her. I will show her who the king of this city really is. The Feisty Princess of Manhattan will learn I am not a man that can be tempted. No matter how damn bad I want her in my bed. This book was HOT. It has all of my favorite things rolled up in one perfect package. I'm freaking out here, can you tell? This is the most hilarious book I have read probably in I literally almost peed my pants.
This was my first time reading anything from Michelle A. Holy mother of literary geniuses!!! This book checked off every single point in my checklist of everything I could ever ask to be in a book. His father dies with a mountain of debt and leaves him very little.
Daniel sells his mount in order to keep his manservant James. Together they must work themselves to the bone to get their farm to pay and ensure their survival. Are the two men up to the grueling challenge? The world's first futa has the hottest class taught by her naughty professor!
Becky, the world's first futa, faces college for the first time since her extra bit sprouted. She's nervous how her fellow students will react. Surrounded by naughty coeds, her futa-passion throbs hard. Good thing her sexy, MILF professor is there to help her out. Becky is about to have her naughtiest lesson ever as the hot futa enjoys her first teacher. The other sexy coeds will receive a wicked lesson in futa-love! You have to read this hot futa-erotica!
Futa's First Teacher is a word futa-on-female, oral, exhibitionism, public, college, coed, cheating, MILF, hot wife erotica that is not for the faint of heart! A Tale of the World's First Futa! Will this naughty, white, student seduce her sexy Professor? Grace is in college and she likes to party. The hot, black, Professor Fox takes her attention. She is dominant and beautiful and knows how to control the class. After jumping through all kinds of obstacles the white girl finally gets some alone time with her ebony teacher. Will she be able to handle her? Collection of Vietnamese women's camisole with lotus flower and grapefruit blossom.
Evergreen Hills. Lena lives in world where the truth is stranger than fiction. Her town lies in the middle of a turf war, but not with who you would expect. Bear and Wolf shifters fight for what they think is their right as the top animal in the Pacific Northwest forests. Lena gets in over her head when members of the wolf clan also ask for her to help them when people in the town want to destroy the surrounding forests near Evergreen Hills.
What starts out as innocent becomes more than Lena can handle and she finds herself torn between doing the right thing for those she loves or for doing what is best for Evergreen Hills. Will Lena make the right choice? Or will she face grave consequences? No matter how much I tried to be a good man and live like a Christian just the way my late mother told me, nothing good came my way.
I had hustled for myself like every other man of my age until when my only skill started yielding some fruits for me. I had so many things to inspire me with my line of business. However, at one time in my life, they were so many that my crowded brain had nothing to offer specifically. My lonely world left me in wild thoughts and imaginations, which I later realized that they were not favorable for my career, my life nor me in general. Doctor Jonathan Knox is feared and hated in the hospital where he effectively exercises a reign of terror on nurses and patients alike.
However, when he publically humiliates junior doctor Sheila Ferguson, he makes an enemy who decides to wreak a terrible and humiliating revenge on the hated medic, which has profound and life changing consequences for him, and for Sheila. Contains femdom humiliation, forced feminization, transgender, MILF humiliation and lesbian scenes. Erotic Tease Girls - Celestia Dixon. Selfies Vol 1 Erotic Picture Book. We all love taking naughty pictures of ourselves naked. It makes us feel really sexy. It makes us feel even sexier when we show them to other people.
This 18 year old girl is feeling incredibly naughty and wants to show her rude selfies to everyone. Erotic Picture Book. For Adults Only. All images compliant with 18 U. C and the model was 18 years or older when photographed. The Cruise Part Two. Continuing the sexy romp through the Carribean with our uninhibited couples, four sorority sisters, and the sand and sun of a ten-day luxury cruise.
Collared Anna's Education Book 3. The chauffeur is English, the car — a late model Rolls-Royce. Her lover is American, his line of work — ancient. She is young, her future — dark. A lonely tear runs down her exquisite cheek. Perhaps it is a tear of joy. For what better reason to exult than the knowledge that one's family is safe and provided for?
Her mother's cancer is astoundingly back in remission for the second time. Or maybe, it is a tear of chagrin for a life that never was. Gone is that young impressionable woman, a teenager still, who obeyed her Master and forwent on the offer of acceptance to a prestigious Ivy League school. She has been transformed into a creature of pure energy and lust.
Sit back and relax. This erotic story is Part 3 of Anna's Education series but can be enjoyed on its own. Mom's Helping Hands. When Aiden's unsatisfied life leads her younger man James to break both his arms, Aiden finds new and taboo ways to offer him her helpings hands. But how far will it go? Find out just how hot and steamy this taboo book of debauchery gets! Use the look inside feature to get a taste! Surrender to Her. This is an erotic fantasy intended for adults only. If you are not interested in cuckolding erotica, please do not purchase this book. There are different kinds of surrender, different kinds of subservience.
Up until this point, Kyle has done his absolute best to give his Mistress everything she wants. The original Matrix was a tantalizingly multicultural affair, from Laurence Fishburne's laconic Morpheus, to Gloria Foster's wryly luminous Oracle, to the eternal question of Keanu's non-descript racial cipher, while the overarching themes at the core of the franchise -- maroonage and slave rebellion -- can't help but speak suggestively to black sci-fi heads. It'll be a thousand years or more before an American artist can make work about "slaves" without automatically evoking some portion of black life and history.
The Matrix, though, is hardly the first big screen franchise to go black to the future. In no particular order, here are ten key moments and storylines from the big screen history of black people and science fiction:. Black Magic in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction It's no coincidence that some of the earliest mixings of blackness and science fiction took place on movie visits to fictionalized versions of the first black republic, Haiti. Long an object of white fascination and vilification, Haiti's folk religion voudoun was alternately represented as a primitive superstition and as an arcane, crypto-Masonic secret society in dozens of B, C and D-movies from the pre-straight-to-video golden ages of Hollywood exploitation.
Flicks like Drums O' Voodoo titillated and terrorized white audiences with visions of white women under the mind control of black "witch doctors," some of the spells apparently so powerful they required breaking by none other than the extraterrestrial Superman, who made visits to the island in both big screen serials and on TV episodes like Superman Drums of Death In the movie fictionalization of Harvard ethno-botanist Wade Davis' book The Serpent and The Rainbow, horror director Wes Craven squared the circle of science and mysticism by imagining a pharmacological nightmareland where both the "divine horsemen" as the gods of Haiti are known and the Duvalier regime were the products of scary native drugs and freaky native bio-chemistry, thereby giving Haitian religion the "magic mushroom" treatment that the Amazon's indigenous people get in the fantasies of the National Geographic set.
Fear of a Black Planet The entire Planet of the Apes cycle took racist anxieties about African nationalism, civil rights and Black Power and did what science fiction does best -- recast the unconscious fears of audiences in forms that were similar enough to the real deal to get a rise, while different enough to pass without a ripple into the popular culture. The Apes series benefited from the placement of the then-liberal Charlton Heston in the opening installment and from there ran roughshod through the political anxieties of white Americans until Conquest of the Planet of the Apes made it plain by depicting a political revolution of ape slaves aided and abetted by, you guessed it, a black man.
Fear of the Black Hat : All too often, the only African American face in a science fiction will belong to the villain. George Lucas' black armor-clad Darth Vader was evil incarnate while voiced by African American actor James Earl Jones, his transition away from the Dark Side of the Force right signaled by his transformation into a kindly white Brit. In flicks like Total Recall betrayal wore a black mutant face, while in Terminator 2 the end of the world was caused by an over-eager black scientist mucking about with mysterious technology.
Let that be a lesson to every black engineer! Back in The Day While comedy franchises like Martin Lawrence's Black Knight used time-travel to produce easy fish-out-the-ghetto yucks, Haile Gerima's indie masterpiece Sankofa imagined a time travel scenario with a little more bite, when an African American woman finds herself back in days of slavery. The lyrical, quasi-non-linear feature had an art house feel, but re-enacted a basic science fictional question just about every modern-day black person has asked at some point or another: What would I do if I found myself living "back then?
The White Negro -- Literally Black essayist and conservative George Schulyer imagined a scientific process whereby black men could be made white and vice versa in 's groundbreaking black sci-fi novel Black No More, a conceit that has made it into the movies dozens of times. From spoofs like the Denzel Washington vehicle Heart Condition, to political satires like Watermelon Man and Black Like Me, the transformation of black bodies into white ones and white bodies into black has created endless one-liners about black male endowment and countless opportunities to draw easy conclusions about the similarities and differences between the races.
Flicks that focused on actually changing the physical structure of the body, like Black Like Me tended to be both the most lurid and the most interesting, as modifying the racial hardware always raises bigger questions about the software: What's it look like? Who wrote it? Who owns the copyright? And: When is the next version coming out? Angela Bassett's Superpower Immediately after Kirk and Uhura were forced into TV's first interracial kiss in the classic Star Trek episode "Plato's Step-Children," the verb of interracial love gained a new tense -- call it the "future-perfect-freaky" -- and no one uses it better on screen than Angela Bassett.
In Supernova and, more notably, Strange Days, Bassett played black-women-of-the-future responding to what must be by then a heinously advanced black-man-shortage by bedding down their white male co-stars. While Bassett savaged Halle Berry in the press for her black-on-white love scene in Monster's Ball, in a temporal inversion of "statute of limitations" she was completely comfortable taking roles that not only featured miscegenation, but treated it as a kind of evolutionary advance.
Her romance with Ralph Fiennes not only ends Strange Days, but marks the entire world's official entrance into the future, their kiss setting off the fireworks that announce the arrival of the new millennium. What is B. Racial Purity and the Coming Beige Apocalypse In the sci-fi worlds of the "future-perfect-freaky," mixed race, bi-racial people stride the earth, a scarily perfect super-race purportedly mixing the best of black and white.
While writers like Octavia Butler regularly re-imagine the encounter between Europe and Africa in the Americas as a regenerative genetic apocalypse where both roots are transformed by their offspring, the theme had no big screen analog until Wesley Snipes brought the brooding Daywalker named Blade to the multiplexes. The big-screen version of the comic book Blade brought the image of the tragic mulatto into the bio-molecular age, the half-vampire, half-human played by Snipes not just trapped between two warring tribes but forced to live in a battleground-body.
The product of pregnant black human mother raped by a white vampire father, Blade faced an identity crisis that also gave the "one drop rule" a creepy age-of-AIDS spin, turning vampire creation into a question of post-coital viral infection. Unlike Butler's vision of a transcendent middle race, which in books like the Xenogenesis trilogy and Clay's Ark takes giddy satisfaction in the survival of the fitter, new-fangled hybrids, the less radical Blade only wants to maintain the status quo, defending the humans in the first picture, and then discovering the nobility of his pure-blooded vampire antagonists in the second, as embodied by fangy-hottie Leonor Varela.
Esoterics in the Land of Cotton Although not always understood as visions of science fiction, there are always strange doings afoot whenever the moist lands south of the Mason-Dixon line are depicted on screen. From Eve's Bayou to Beloved, the American South has always been a big screen haunted house where the sins of the white racist fathers swap spit with Hollywood fantasies of black spiritual resistance, aka rootwork and hoodoo. Black spiritual technologies -- charms, dream books, candles, mojos -- have been so severed from their original contexts by LaLaLand that they could seamlessly provide a tagline for a franchise like Austin Powers, while in the work of Stephen King, most notably The Shining and the The Stand, wise southern black folk warm King's chilly New England nightmares by acting as walking repositories for strange, unexplained energies.
Although much, much richer, even the late Gloria Foster's Oracle in the Matrix movies is a play on the image of the aged Negro as spiritual antenna, a trope as old as Harriet Beecher Stowe's god-fearing Uncle Tom beatifically soaking up the good Lord's shine. Dick imagined a "Substance D" in A Scanner Darkly a drug so powerful it split the novel's undercover narc protagonist into two personalities, one belonging to the cop, the other to his prey.
Dick and his readers didn't have to wait long for the lab-cooked super-drugs of the future; a scant half decade after A Scanner Darkly was published, America was in the grip of a crack epidemic. Ghetto real thrillers like Deep Cover, Ricochet and Belly might not seem like science fiction, but their storylines all revolve around black folks hard at work on the high tech creation of heretofore unknown new narcotics, next generation cracks and methamphetamines. Deep Cover imagines a black and white team looking to create an ecstasy-like pill with no side effects, while in Belly DMX learns from MTV News of course of a perfected heroin.
In Ricochet Ice-T isn't just Denzel's bad seed pal from back in the day, he's a high tech entrepreneur whose inner-city lab is a futuristic playground straight out of Tom Clancy, the street obviously finding new uses for technology long before the newest-latest reaches the suburbs. Michael Jackson What's there to say about MJ that hasn't been said?
The "Thriller" video and the "Black or White" video not to mention their associated games are epic parts of the black science fictional canon, Michael's racial anxieties turning to the power of special effects to allow him to transform his black body in ways far more radical than the puny tools of plastic surgery allow. Few remember, though, that Michael also created a full-length feature called Moonwalker where the King of Pop enacted a slew of Afro-futuristic fantasies, culminating with his climactic transformation not into a white man, but a foot tall Transformer.
Posted by ebogjonson at PM Permalink. The A-List is a compendium of the most important things African America discussed this week. This week on the A-List: 1. Matters of great import are either ignored or treated flippantly and great heroes are disrespected, while gossip, bizarre coincidence, and negative reporting is enshrined as the collected opinion of Negroes everywhere. Also, the manner in which the column is written leaves much to be desired. Fiction seems intermingled willy-nilly with factual information, while items are invariably prefaced by lengthy, showy prologues with no discernable relation to the story purportedly being presented.
Also sentences in the A-List tend to run-on, veering wildly from subject to subject on the slimmest verbal pretext. Du Bois, whose image is cynically made use of repeatedly by the Africana website, and who dreamt of meaningfully connecting the disparate threads of Negro life in his great encyclopedia, would be disgusted. The A-List, of course, doesn't believe a word of the above.
Does anyone surf these days for anything except pornography, EBay auction updates, bottomed-out stock prices, weather, or to see if their name showed up in their best friend's blog? Getting a letter like that from a regular A-List reader is a bit like getting caught out at the strip club by your great grandmother. This is certainly embarrassing, Nana. For you. Speaking of poor taste, this week's "the Eunice bit," as we like to call it, comes from her very Missouri, where a white jail guard, Justin K. Hastings, has been accused of regularly urinating on his jail's black inmates from a grate in the roof of a covered recreation area.
While some inmates seem to have instinctively understood that the warm, yellow liquid dripping down from the rafters was to be avoided, others did not. One recent, rainy afternoon, a group of thirsty inmates, fresh from playing a hard game of prison basketball, went so far as to enthusiastically thrust their faces into the downward flowing stream, only to discover that the leaking "rainwater" smelled and tasted remarkably like you-know-what.
Equally remarkably, the incident went to trial, CO Hastings facing a day prison term for abusing his charges. Things nearly unraveled when inmate Zewayne "Winkie" Durley called his jailhouse golden shower "racist," a charge apparently so incendiary in Missou that a mistrial was almost declared, but after a brief recess the proceedings turned to the not-so difficult question of positively identifying Hastings.
While it's impossible to see anyone through the grate, and no one actually saw 21 year-old CO commit the dirty deed, DNA tests presented at the trial positively linked Hastings to urine samples taken from the grate. It's not as if prosecutors went and collected samples from every guard or even two. Obviously something about that racist urine, some quality or aspect of it, reminded Durley and the other inmates of Hastings, but what could it be, what could it be?
At the time this particular column was written me and the Africana team were engaged in a bit of a turf war with another with another African American programming team stationed on the AOL mothership in Dulles. They lost the battle but the forces of mediocrity eventually won the war. Say it Ain't So, Serena! We've always seen the strong, in-control Serena; yesterday's match revealed another side, one more in keeping with the fact that she is only 21 years old. After the match ended, a tearful Serena admitted the crowd got to her: "It was just a tough crowd out there today, really very tough.
It's the story of my life. It's a little difficult. All my life I have had to fight. Any time Venus or Serena Williams steps onto the court, she is the automatic odds-on favorite. Some crowd love winners and some cheer for the underdog especially if she's local, or from a neighboring country, as was the Belgian Henin-Hardenne. That's just sports, but it doesn't make it pretty. It gets uglier in the case of the Williams sisters, who have endured racist taunts from crowds at home and abroad, no doubt making it at times difficult for the pair to tell the difference between run-of-the-mill stadium boorishness and malicious, mass abuse.
Here's to hoping Serena gets to take a few weeks off and comes back and smokes the competition in Wimbledon! Responding to reports that he'd been indicted on war crimes charges by a UN-sponsored court, Taylor invoked the supernatural "To call the president of Liberia a war criminal? God himself will not permit it" and made sure his thuggish government not only put down the rebel advances, but also turned back the thousands of refugees rushing into Monrovia in hopes of escaping the violent countryside.
The world's attention rarely rests for long on West Africa -- troubles there seem too hard to confront, too endlessly circular, too local, too complex. But the nature of Taylor's evil isn't hard to grasp at all. Too bad "regime change" is only the West's stated policy when there's oil at stake. Hooked up to two croaking, used speakers, the television in the A-List's first college apartment doubled as a stereo that stayed tuned to music-vid stations most days and nights.
Of course, we were most obsessed with "the black guy. Did the Real World only choose bordeline crazy black men, we wondered? Was it a requirement? There was the mellow, be-dredded Muhammad of the San Francisco show, but like all gentle, holistic, spoken-word Negroes, he was just too tofutti, too nice. It just seemed that reality television was doomed to never get the black man right.
Over the years, our convictions about the ignoble yet central role of "the black guy" on reality TV have only been confirmed by the hard evidence gleaned through literal couch years spent mainlining reality crud directly through the optic nerve -- Springer in the morning, videos hosted by reality contestants and game shows all day, reality TV at night. Trapped between the Klieg lights of celebrity and the cave walls of racism, he casts a pantomime shadow across America's television screens that is interpreted by most as "black maleness," but that bears no resemblance to the genuine article as experience by the A-List and our friends and family.
It would take nothing less than a philosopher-king to break through this play of forms and shadows, and since all royal black people are from Africa or are assassinated Civil Rights leaders, making it hard for them to appear on new shows our black princes have arrived in the form of -- you guessed it -- an African reality TV show! Core premise?
Eleven young black people from all around Africa trapped in a house with one token white guy. Produced by a South African pay-TV company, the show has been warmly received in the plus African television markets where it is aired, but it seems that the predominantly black cast has not caught on with White South Africans, still the big-get of the African TV ad market.
It is as yet unavailable here in the States unless you have one of those crazy, old-skool satellite hook-ups. At which point, the A-List is going to come after you and your TV the way Kevin came after Becky -- only friendly-like! Go ahead. We promise it's not nasty.
You've probably already seen it you know how these things circulate and anyway, we would lose our job if we direct-liked to something nasty, or to something that met any legal or corporate definition of "obscene. So it's not nasty in the slightest. It's more funny, and not even funny really, because there's nothing funny about earning an honest living, nothing amusing at all about diversifying one's professional portfolio in the interests of keeping that income coming in.
It's just curious to us, having his face just pop up like that, and the way his palm is holding and pointing at the text, and that suit. Skinny and aloof with that Zeta Reticulan, Grey alien head. He always seemed vestigial, like the other guys were letting him hang around for obscure reasons buried in the past -- or so you thought until some weird girl you were scheming on confessed in the middle of a basement dance party that he was her "favorite," which would always mess with your head.
Why pick him? What did it mean about us, the A-list, that he was her favorite? Besides the odd, inverse diminution that afflicts young stars that have grown into men in obscurity, he looks none the worse for wear. Bobbie, of course, we all know what he's been up to and he looks it, while Michael Bivens has the healthy heft that befits the run he's had producing groups like Boyz II Men, but Ronald DeVoe?
Have you spent a moment in the last ten years wondering what he's been up to? We haven't, which is why the link is funny to us, but, that could just be us. Say it Ain't So, Sammy! News this week that Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa had been caught using a corked bat in a game sparked a conflicted, multilayered response. From Sosa himself: a quick admission of guilt, albeit accidental guilt -- he says the bat was one he routinely used in batting practice, in hopes of pleasing homer-hunger fans. From Chicago-area fans: fervent defense and protestations of endless devotion to "Sammy," a figure of one-name-status popularity there.
Missing so far has been an overtly racial angle to the Sosa affair, though it's certainly a covert factor in the mix. Ever since the home run race between Sosa and St. Louis's Mark McGwire, the exuberant Dominican has been cast in the role of lovable furriner, his broken English and blown kisses endearing as hell -- provided he didn't outshine the laconic redhead who won out in the end.
For his part, Sosa has been a proud crowd-pleaser, a role the bat incident indicates he may have taken a bit too far. A Major League Baseball official review of Sosa's other 76 bats the A-List is semi-astounded that even a major slugger like Sosa owns this many bats! If it goes down anything like the handful of other "corking" incidents over the past two decades, Sosa can expect to be suspended for games. So is the incident going to hurt Sosa's legacy? Is it a "say it ain't so" moment to rival that of Shoeless Joe Jackson, forever kept out of the Hall of Fame for allegedly throwing the World Series?
It doesn't seem like it. A lot of the ink being spilled over Sosa's transgression seems appropriately focused on just how frequent this kind of thing is, from several recent bat-corking incidents to spit-ball throwing to various other rule-bending that's just part of the game. The A-List hopes and believes that this whole episode is almost certainly going to blow over fairly quickly, and if it doesn't, it'll only convince us yet again that what this country needs is more, not less, moral relativism, which is to say, the ability to distinguish between a small crime and a large one.
Let Sammy do his time, but then let him get on with the game. He's Gotta Have It -- -- the rights to his name, that is. Filmmaker and kid's book author Spike Lee filed a lawsuit against media giant Viacom over the company's recent decision to change the name of the TNN cable network to "Spike TV" in hopes of attracting more male viewers.
Viacom plans to achieve this demographic feat by playing reruns of Bay Watch and introducing new cartoons like Stripperella. Created by Stan Lee and voiced by Pamela Anderson, Stripperella follows the exploits of exotic dancer Erotica Jones, who fights crime in the near future as a secret agent. Um, we guess that'll work. It's manly, it's pointy, it's hard. That's why when the A-List first heard about the name change back in April, it never occurred to us to associate it with a Spike Lee joint.
In fact, quite a few other Spikes came to mind. There was, for instance, that girl named Spike from Degrassi Junior High who got pregnant and couldn't hang out with the gang anymore cause of her kid. Damn, we miss that show. Now that was some telly. Then there's the blond, undead Brit, Spike, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spike from Cowboy Bebop, director Spike Jonze, Spike from underground cult film animation duo Spike and Mike, and only the good lord above knows how many cartoon bulldogs have been and ever shall be named Spike.
You can see where we're going with this. Maybe if all the Spikes united and filed a class action suit could take this one more seriously. So while we still got love for Spike Lee -- after all, he is the reason we owe hundreds of thousands of dollars in film school debt and also maxed out all our credit cards to make the best black independent film you've never seen -- we think Spike, Lee that is , is really reaching with this one.
Sometimes a spike is just a spike, Spike. Legal Team Not So Supreme News came down from up high this week that alleged NY drug kingpin and famed, alleged, hip hop label financier Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff would be sentenced to 37 months in the Federal pen for violating probation. As the A-List understands it, McGriff was just at ye olde shooting range doing what reputed drug lords do at such establishments after serving lengthy sentences and coming out to a few million -- namely cocking, loading and letting off.
You know, just trying to keep the skills behind the nine-mill up. District Judge J. Frederick Motz saw things a mite different, telling McGriff and we're quoting : "There's no reason for you to keep your skills up. This year alone rapper Freaky Zeaky, a member from Camron's Diplomat crew was shot in an altercation, while Murder Inc. CEO Irv Gotti -- McGriff's "son" in the eyes of many -- saw his brother and a close associates shot in separate incidents. If he's under some kind of threat, McGriff is not the type who would seek out police protection do police protect convicted drug dealers who aren't in witness protection?
While the crowd was more than happy to see the dirty diva doing her thing, the A-List couldn't help but think that these were not the perky, pastie-assisted fake breasts Kim had bared over and over and over the last few years. These were older, wiser, more withdrawn fake breasts. Sadder fake breasts. Which prompts us to ask: is something wrong, Kim? Something wrong with your fake breasts, we mean.
Because if there is, you can tell us about it. Over the last year, the A-List has been privileged to offer counseling to a number of black female celebrities facing various types of crises -- - Beyonce, Frenchie, the Williams Sisters -- and we can help you too, if only you'll let us. We can provide you with links to this story, though: Nas fans will remember that last year the radio station stopped Nas from hanging Jay Z in effigy on stage, saying that Summer Jam was all about the music, and not about airing grudges.
The A-List will be the first to admit that it has been interesting to see Marshall take on someone other than bubble gum groups and Moby, but it's becoming clear that both sides of this beef are only interested in the financial benefits of maximum street cred. As for Em, most of this madface business started around the time a certain, got-shot-in-the-face, certified thug from Queens joined his ranks.
Curiously, Em also started to weight train around that time. Although the A-List is a firm believer that you don't have to be a piano player to know a bad rendition of "Chopsticks" when you hear it, we do guess having a potentially violent hip hop feud comes in handy when you're managing a reformed hardcase. That's all this week, folks! Every Friday, the A-List compiles a listing of the most important topics African America discussed the previous week.
Ming, the two of us need look no more We've both found what we were looking for With this cat to call my own My croc won't be alone And you, my friend, will be Star of Yates menagerie Star of Yates menagerie. Ming, you're always hiding here and there Here and there Harlem don't want no tigers anywhere Anywhere If you're loose out on the street And don't like what folks you meet There's one thing you should know You've got a place to go You've got a place to go.
I used to say "house" and "me" Now it's "zoo", now it's "we" I used to say "house" and "me" Now it's "zoo", now it's "we". Ming, most folks they would a'euthanize Me, I don't look out with their frightened eyes They don't see you as I do I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd not fear a thing If they had a friend like Ming a friend Like Ming like Ming Like Ming. The A-List, as regular readers can attest, is what you would call a real bunch of cynical sonofableep s , but our black hearts were tickled -- tickled, we tell you! While Vegas illusionist Roy Horn was living through a showbiz tragedy that echoed Houdini and the Flying Wallendas -- i.
At once addled and amorous, Yates channeled borderline insane and iconic black manchildren from Michael Jackson, to, well Michael Jackson, as he pledged undying love for his misunderstood pet, calling the animal that had almost bitten his arm off "my brother, my best friend, my only friend, really. Reporters, cops, and prosecutors scrambled for days trying to figure out exactly how Yates managed to obtain a pet tiger in the first place not to mention the alligator that was also found in the apartment , leaving the A-List with little to do except salivate, animal-like, at the prospect of some curious and hopefully illegal goings-on, this until a more banal explanation surfaced: Yates had just gone out and bought his tiger.
What's more bizarre, we wonder: That a dim bulb like Yates could have kept a tiger in a Harlem apartment for three-to-four years, or that he had just hopped onto the Internet bought himself a tiger, and then kept it in a Harlem apartment for three-to-four years? The answer, of course, is: "both. Blvd laconically told the media a different story, one where everyone in five-block radius except uniformed police and civil servants, of course knew about the open case of man-cub love going down at the Yates apartment. Harlem's drug dealers must all be keeping tigers as well.
The story of Antoine 'N' Ming 4Ever did have one tragic undertone: for at least two of the years that Yates shared his apartment with his tiger and alligator, he also shared it with his mother, Martha Yates and several of her foster children. While Mother Yates had the sense to eventually flee the apartment for Philly seriously! Sean Combs we'll use his gov'ment name in order to avoid any confusion was right when he said "Mo Money Mo' Problems.
Conspiracies linking Puff and Biggie to Tupac's murder have been floating around forever, while published reports from here to Haiti have fingered Combs crony Anthony "Wolf" Jones as Hassan's alleged and long un-charged and unconvicted killer. Unless Burrowes can come up with a smoking gun -- literally -- he's looking at a mighty nice defamation suit. The A-List just hopes that this doesn't affect Combs' ability to run the New York Marathon for charity next month; babies in Brooklyn need that money!
While we were arguably a pretty jaded collective even back then during the flower of our professional youth, we would not have imagined in our most cynical nightmare that it would be more than a decade before the uncovered bones of those ancestors were properly re-laid to rest. Over the last twelve years it has taken the efforts of countless activists and civic organizations to prevent the site from being completely desecrated and built over, proof positive that the devaluing of black life doesn't end with death.
Many of the men, women and children died from malnutrition, disease and exhaustion, while the sheer numbers buried at the site repositions New York as the second largest slave-owning city in the 18th Century. Thousands turned out in New York to honor the ancestors, and we hope the ceremony brought a little bit of peace to a part of the city that has seen its fair share of death both then and now.
Branding: Beyonce's Name is on Your Behind Hold tight girls and boys-who-like-to-dress-like-girls: pretty soon you'll be able to look just like Beyonce! Okay, we lied. But besides treating your hair to a whole bottle of Feria and mainlining Pepsi, you will soon be able to lip sync to "Crazy in Love" in clothes purportedly designed by Miss B or at least purportedly designed by her mama. How can this be, you ask? Well, in hopes of ascending ever higher up the peaks of brand name superstardom, Beyonce recently announced plans to launch two clothing lines with mom, Tina Knowles.
The year-old Star Search alumnus is, of course, far from being the first pop tart with a startup clothing line. Fashion world darling and blond bombshell rapper Eve's recently launched Fetish label appears off to a good start, while the Olson Twins have gone beyond day-into-evening wear into the murky land of jailbait-into-barely-legal with a line of their very own. Since she's gonna go ahead and follow suite -- this despite the fact that clothing is difficult biz where margins can fit on the head of a pin -- all the A-List can do is pray Ms.
B doesn't pull a Kathy Lee or Michael Jordan and get in bed the sort of company that violates the human and labor rights of young brown or yellow girls in Third World countries by paying them pennies a day to play with dangerous machinery and toxic chemicals. Games: Monopolizing Cliches in Ghettopoly The A-List's inbox has filled to capacity with complaints about a new game called Ghettopoly. In this rip-off of the board-game favorite, Monopoly, ghetto iconography -- street corner drug dealers, graffiti-covered subways, and crack houses -- replaces the street repairs, railroads and hotels of yore, the standard money-earning gameplay turned inside out by inane stereotypes and caricatures of black icons like "Malcum X Blvd" and "Martin Luthor King, Jr.
When asked about the game, Michael Chang, the Asian American creator of Ghettopoly, protests that when it comes to racism, we're all in the same gang in "Should I boycott every single black comedian who makes jokes about Asian Americans? How about Dave Chappelle, is he a racist too? Do you think the puppets they use on Crank Yankers are stereotypical too?
How about Snoop dog, is his show on MTV racist? Very post-modern defense of your business, Mr. Chang, but while the A-List can't help but feel that marshalling the civil rights troops to protest a board-game is a bit, well, wasteful in a time of illegal war, official malfeasance, imposter presidencies, economic collapse and the election of cartoon characters to major offices, we do understand where the critics are coming from.
No matter how you flip it, frame it or even try to forget it, the urban ghetto of 20th and 21st Century America is strongly associated with black people and our experiences in such neighborhoods, making any game or art, for that matter about said neighborhoods about us in profound and usually troubling ways. For younger African Americans who came of age around racial categories that are significantly more fluid than those our parents faced and inhabited, balancing free-and-easy post-black cultural cosmopolitanism with wariness at the persistence of stubborn, undying negative images is difficult work, and our own complicated relationships to some of these images Pimp nostalgia: Harmless fun or dangerous stereotype?
At its core, the whole Ghettopoly fracaso is less about a deliberate insult to African America and more about how easily a calculating commercial scheme can use the heat from the still boiling racial pot to produce quick profits. While we may not exactly share the outrage of some of our elders, we do feel a more matter-of-fact version of the sentiment conveyed by Naughty By Nature's "Ghetto Bastard:". If you ain't never been to the ghetto Don't ever come to the ghetto Because you wouldn't understand the ghetto. Such is the case when it comes to the murder of South African activist and writer Steven Biko.
Killed in during the height of the anti-apartheid struggle, Biko became a potent symbol of that freedom fight - he was immortalized in Hollywood's Cry Freedom by Denzel Washington - but hero status means little when it comes to the South African justice system. Sadly enough so do truth and accountability. News comes this week that the five men who killed Biko are going to continue to elude justice for their acts.
Biko died after being tortured and interrogated for his acts against the apartheid state - acts that primarily consisted of writing and publishing essays about freedom - and his death was a serious public, as well as personal, loss. All of which makes it unforgivable that his killers still walk free. High unemployment, daily body count numbers from overseas, and an unsettling sense that the government scandals we hear about are only the tip of a conspiracy-filled iceberg - yep, freaky days are here again.
The news out of Philly reminds us how when paranoia strikes deep, it strikes deeper when you're black. And you know what they say: just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. In the case of Philadelphia's African American mayor, John Street, it would appear he's got reason to feel suspicious. Not only is he locked in a close electoral race with Republican challenger Sam Katz, but aides found bugs in his office this week, the FBI confirmed that they placed the bugs there as part of an investigation.
Who are they investigating, and why? The Feds aren't saying, but Street's people suspect the bug and inquiry are related to either a Black Muslim Street supporter, Imam Shamsud-din Ali whose allegedly no-show adult ed classes have already been a target of investigation , or to Street's involvement in a big contract for airport renovation which is already under grand jury investigation.
Hey, big city politics are complex - few are the major urban mayors who haven't been under some kind of investigation at one point - and we have no idea how this'll play out. But the news of the bugging, the whole gritty, shaky, The Conversation-esque vibe to it, has us feeling itchy, man. Racism: An All-White Delivery for Racist Parents Despite the evidence of Butterfly McQueen, as Sissy in Gone With the Wind, fluttering her hands, rolling her eyes, and declaring she " know nothin' about birthin' babies," countless thousands of white folks have relied upon black domestic help to assist in the birth of their young'uns.
We're not talking just during slave days, when the circuit-riding country doctor arrived just in time to share a congratulatory cigar after some longsuffering housemaid did the real work, but even today, in big hospitals whose staffs are stacked with black and brown help at the scut-work level while white doctors and executives serenely preside. It's not usually inconsistent with white racist values to let a black woman help you push one out - which is why we're so surprised by the news this week of a hardcore racist couple in Pennsylvania who requested that no black workers assist in the birth of their own little Damien.
What upset us even more was the hospital's willingness to go along with this request. We guess good help ain't that hard to find, in today's crappy economy - but the hospital that alienates its black nurses is gonna have a hell of a time functioning efficiently, because in the hospitals we've seen, that's who gets things done.
We hope the local NAACP protest, which extracted promises of changes including diversity training , has the desired effect of changing, if not hearts and minds, at least policies. The A-List is happy to see Ice Cube getting that raptor money, but anyone who saw Ghosts of Mars already knows where this film is headed if it's not seen early carefully: straight to video.
Has Ice Cube ever been in a successful action flick, anyway?