source site Value yourself more! The Hidden Cost of People Pleasing. I can always rely on you to do what's best for me and help me with whatever I need. Her first step was getting him out of the home so she could clear her head. It Is very well written and I can easily see all of rhe emotion that's behind it. You may never be able to let go of it entirely, but it will no longer affect your life in any great way.
What were those moments? What triggered me to betray myself? For the journey to the self is always the hardest one. Here, I am embarking on yet another inner journey to see what I needed to discover, heal, love and accept about myself. Just as I was hurt, angry, and disappointed at the loved ones who once betrayed me, I became angry and disappointed with myself for all the times I let go of my instinct and did not trust it; for all the times I did not stand up for my rights or own my voice and power; for all the times I justified sacrificing myself and my well-being in the name of love; and for all the times I tried to protect my vulnerabilities by creating illusions and projections of the people I loved, rather than addressing and seeing my true needs and what I was seeking thereby seeing the true being and who they were.
I continued to dig and dig and dig deeper until I found the little girl in me that was acting out of her pain, vulnerability and fear rather than from the strength of the adult woman that I had become.
The betrayal of me came from my own injuries. Some go back to my childhood and are still working themselves out in my adult life. Suddenly, the anger and the disappointment I felt towards myself transformed into deep love and affection right down to the vulnerable part of me that was acting out of pain, for I understood that pain and its source. As women we are trained and so used to being hard on ourselves and almost fearing self-love that it can be seen as selfish, not motherly, or as not giving enough. Fluctuating the self and punishing it for all the wrong we have done is so much easier than loving it.
But then again, there cannot be healing, true healing, without love.
And I had to consciously go into love to heal myself from the time I had betrayed myself. In order to heal and love, one has to forgive. People hurt each other out of their own pain just as we hurt ourselves out of our own pain.
So only when we release ourselves from that pain, see it, love it and forgive it, can we truly love the essence of the self in its most beautiful aspect and also in the aspect we are most embarrassed of, our own shadows, for that is the true meaning of love. If they betrayed me out of their pain just as I betrayed myself out of my pain then I can understand, sympathize and I can love without needs or expectations but for what it is and what that person is, without any illusions or projections.
So yes, it is possible to forgive even when not asked for forgiveness and even when people betray their own courage at telling the truth. Though I still believe that only when we tell the truth can there be true healing, I also understand that it takes much courage to tell that truth and sometimes it will entail revealing the most insecure, frightened aspects of ourselves. I can only go through this process for myself.
I cannot expect it at all from others. To each his or her own.
However, it is this sense that you're not valued that may be at the heart of your emotional reaction. Betrayal by people you care about hurts. Beth Solano. You haven't always been this way. You haven't always been a body lined with thorns, a heart wrapped in razor wire; hard lines.
For me, it is a journey of love. This is the time to turn down the stress response and turn up the self-assurance so that you can start to make sense of things. The final stage of the process is healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. It is time to love yourself enough to take care of you now.
Gaining a fresh set of beliefs and pursuing new things will help you achieve the strongest version of yourself. The big takeaway from all of this is not to fall back into betrayal patterns. Ask yourself, "What will my life look like years from now or what am I pretending not to see?
Transformation and going through these stages is not easy, but once you stop resisting, the world will open up to you. For more information, visit her website. This article was originally published at MidoriVerity. Reprinted with permission from the author. Follow Us. Sign in. Expert Blog. Please free me from the burden of holding onto a grudge and help me move on with my life well. God, I confess that this betrayal has damaged my confidence.
I feel insecure and blame myself for mistakes I made in the relationship before I was betrayed. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent this betrayal from happening. Please steer me away from wasting my time and energy living in the past, and help me focus now on how I can best move into a better future. Remind me of how valuable I am as a person, and let me sense your love for me in tangible ways, such as an encouraging message from a guardian angel that you have assigned to care for me.
As I move forward with the other relationships in my life, help me not to punish those who have goodwill toward me by assuming that they will betray me like [your spouse, your friend, etc. Help me to trust the people I know who are treating me well.
After I've worked through the forgiveness process with [the person who betrayed you], help me to rebuild trust in our relationship gradually over time, if he or she is willing to change and reconcile with me. Show me people who can support me as I recover from this betrayal, such as a counselor, a clergy person, friends, and family members who are caring and trustworthy. Thank you for them; please bless them for their help. My faithful God, I love you and look forward to enjoying your true love every day of my life.